i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
