if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize
