The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
