end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
