Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
