Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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