and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
