JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
