lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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