I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
