Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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