It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
