Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
