Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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