in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
