first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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