"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
