why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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