my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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