DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
