Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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