I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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