If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
