I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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