Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
