It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
