I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize