The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
