its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
