so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
