Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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