the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
