I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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