so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
