not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
