I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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