Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
