hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
