Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
