what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
