I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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