I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
