a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
why is half of my head shaved?
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