What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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