you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
