I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
