Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
