Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize