he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
