But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
