They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
